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Opticology (officially the Righteous Church of the Unrevealed Truth) is a religion endemic to the Hollywood area, headed by J. Weldon McBride.


At first a composer of advertising jingles, McBride was 28 years old when the Big One hit Hollywood. In the aftermath of the quake he found himself trapped within his apartment, the building having partially collapsed into what is now Underwood. He survived on his own for over a month before he was rescued, subsisting off "the energy of the cosmos" in the form of expired sugar-free cereal and canned ravioli. It was during this time that McBride relates that he was visited by an "extradimensional entity" that he refers to as Zintar (occasionally Zimtar or Zilbo), and the two of them engaged in several conversations that educated McBride as to the "true nature" of reality.

Once free from his apartment, McBride began the arduous process of procuring everything he needed to spread his new religion, such as tax exemption forms. He wrote a number of catchy jingles that helped promote his religion, which had several names (each attached to a separate bank account) before finally settling on the Righteous Church of the Unrevealed Truth. The name "Opticology" came about when McBride was divinely inspired after seven martinis and could not pronounce "righteous".


The chief tenet is that what is commonly believed to be reality is actually an illusion that disguises the true reality. The only possible way for this true reality to be perceived, according to the church, is regular payments of $29.99 made directly to the church. According to the church, this is because money is saturated in large quantities of a substance called conglomerated hyperfluid. This hyperfluid, which is both invisible and completely undetectable by all methods except those employed by the church, must be removed by the church through a complicated process called spending.